Jute’s Stories

Sometimes I tell myself I wish I had more time in a day, but I think maybe in reality all I’d do is end up finding out that it’s not enough.  That no matter how much time I had, it would never be enough.

I gorged myself playing Lineage II this weekend.  It was a really nice weekend, warm and without rain for the first time in a long time.  I would have liked to have done a few other things, but instead I stayed in and played.  Now I can tell myself that if I had more time, I would have done some other things, but the truth is… I would have played more.

I can find more ways to waste time in game than pretty much anyone I know.  I have so many plans for things I want to do I know there is no way I can complete them all, but by god I’m going to try.

Mostly it was a really fun weekend, but at one point something happened which has put me into sort of a moral dilemma.

There is a group of people I play with very occasionally.  I adore these people and love playing with them.  There is one person in particular who has made an effort on multiple occasions to make me feel welcome.  I really like him.  He was on and we ended up grouping for a bit.  While we grouped we all chatted and at the end of the evening an odd incident sparked a conversation.

During the course of the conversation, third party botting programs came up.  We talked a bit about their extra capabilities and the kind of information advantage that it gives those who use it.   While talking about this he said something that leads me to believe he has a great familiarity with the program.

He didn’t say more and I was glad he didn’t.

I don’t want to know if he’s using L2 Walker and I feel very conflicted about being a coward this way.  I don’t know if I can properly explain exactly what I was thinking.  In many ways it’s jumbled.  I mostly felt awkward and uncomfortable.  But there are a whole lot of other feelings in there too.
I like my friend.  I enjoy playing with him.  I don’t use third party programs and I have no desire to do so.  I know the way I play bothers some people.  I use two computers and run two accounts (two-boxing as it’s popularly called).  Many people have a problem with this and I’ve tried to understand it.  I’ve never felt there was anything wrong with what I do.  I’m not hurting anyone or anything.  Just playing how I like.  What I do is within the EULA of the game and I don’t cheat.

If my friend is using L2 Walker, he isn’t within the EULA and he runs the risk of having his account banned.  I don’t know his reasons for doing it if he is, and I can’t really ask him without putting myself into a position I’m not sure I’m willing to be in.  And although I don’t agree with his decision, if he is botting, I wish I knew why.  But I can’t ask, without learning more than I want to know.
So I’m left with a lot of odd feelings and no easy answers.

I wish life had a few more easy answers sometimes.